She/He is Bisexual! What to do?

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script type="text/javascript" src="http://hb.lycos.com/hb.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://ratings.lycos.com/ratings/lycosRating.js.php"></script> <script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[//><!]]></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-start.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-middle.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-end.js"></script> <noscript> <img src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/img/common/ot_noscript.gif?rand=684003" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <iframe frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" width="728" height="90" src="http://ad.yieldmanager.com/st?ad_type=iframe&ad_size=728x90&section=209094"></iframe>  </noscript> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=188 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <IMG SRC="0468cab0.gif" border=0 width="140" height="171" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <A HREF="id14.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gay Youth: Expressing a Gay Identity "><U><B>Gay Youth: Expressing a Gay Identity</b></U></A></div> <div> She/He is Bisexual! 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What to do?</b></I></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="702" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 97 WIDTH="339"><div> <A HREF="http://www.10percent.com/products/svideos/index.cfm?refid=AX80601" target="_blank" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.10percent.com/products/svideo"><U><IMG SRC="0b0785a0.gif" border=0 width="120" height="90" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="97" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <A HREF="http://www.10percent.com/products/svideos/index.cfm?refid=AX80601" target="_blank" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.10percent.com/products/svideo"><U><IMG SRC="0b1785a0.gif" border=0 width="120" height="90" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 345 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I'm a heterosexual woman engaged to a man who is bisexual & want to know if this kind of relationship can work out. He tells me he loves me & wants to spend the rest of his life with me. The problem is he is attracted to other men, he fantasizes about them, and flirts with them. I know if it were with other women, I would not accept it. It is very confusing to me that it is with other men. I don't know if I should just step aside and let him explore his "other side" or marry him. He says I satisfy him sexually, but I am not a man, can never be a man, and feel inadequate because I know that that is what he fantasizes about. </div> <bR> <div> -- Help</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="345" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Help,</div> <bR> <div> The fact that your fiance is bisexual should not be cause for alarm. It doesn't really matter if he flirts with men or women. What matters is how this behavior makes you feel, and whether you trust him to be faithful to you!</div> <div> But what is more concerning is your feeling of inadequacy because you are not a man. You are engaged to be married to this person. If knowing that he fantasizes about other men makes you feel undesired or unwanted <I>before </I>you are married, how do you anticipate you'll feel after you get married.</div> <bR> <div> In essence, "bisexual" does not translate to "not faithful." However, if you feel your fiance desires others more than he desires you, perhaps you should consider whether you are getting what you really need from this relationship.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 349 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I'm a 22 year old woman in a relationship with a married woman whose husband doesn't know. We've lived together for the past year and a half. Her husband works out of the country and comes to the states every 2 months. I have to give her up every time he comes down. This is very frustrating and is causing friction in our relationship. We both came to the conclusion that it is unfair for me to wait for her, so I'm moving on. I'm engaged, but my future husband is in jail. The problem is that I'm in love with this woman, but I'm promising my life to someone else. She says she's in love with me, not her husband, and what she is doing is a job and nothing more. I need help!<FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#990000" FACE="Times New Roman" > </FONT></div> <bR> <div> -- R</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="349" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear R,</div> <bR> <div> There is a lot of confusion going on in your life. You are very young and should be in no rush to make any life commitments. Especially if you are deciding between a married woman who won't leave her husband and a dude in jail! You should summon the strength to leave both these people alone and focus on self-improvement. When you feel better about yourself, you will attract healthier love interests. </div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 293 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I'm a 30 year-old heterosexual woman in a long-term relationship with a man. Recently I've been fantasizing about another woman who I think is bisexual or gay. I have a feeling my boyfriend fantasizes about her too. I would like to have an experience with her. How should I ask her for a threesome?<FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#990000" FACE="Times New Roman" > </FONT></div> <bR> <div> -- JOJO</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="293" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear JOJO,</div> <bR> <div> Asking someone to join you and your man can be a hairy task! First, I would ask her if she is gay or bisexual. Next, I would tell her that you find her attractive and see how she responds. Then I would tell her that you would like to get to know her more intimately and see how things progress. If things look encouraging, then you may consider popping the threesome question. Please note, however, that she may not be interested in your boyfriend and that offering a threesome as the only option may result in a negative response. Good luck navagating this difficult road. Just know that it is better to ask than to forever wonder!</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="339"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="339" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="339" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>