I'm In Love With a Straight Boy/Girl!

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script type="text/javascript" src="http://hb.lycos.com/hb.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://ratings.lycos.com/ratings/lycosRating.js.php"></script> <script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[//><!]]></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-start.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-middle.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-end.js"></script> <noscript> <img src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/img/common/ot_noscript.gif?rand=540389" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <iframe frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" width="728" height="90" src="http://ad.yieldmanager.com/st?ad_type=iframe&ad_size=728x90&section=209094"></iframe>  </noscript> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=188 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <IMG SRC="0468cab0.gif" border=0 width="140" height="171" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <A HREF="id14.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gay Youth: Expressing a Gay Identity "><U><B>Gay Youth: Expressing a Gay Identity</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id12.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="She/He is Bisexual! 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What Should "><U><B>I'm In Love With My Friend!  What Should I Do?</b></U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="0451a1a3.gif"> <bR> <bR> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#990000" FACE="Times New Roman" ><I><B>AskEssex </b></I></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFCC99" FACE="Arial" >     </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CCCC66" FACE="Arial" >| </FONT>  <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="AskEssex "><U><B>Home</b></U></A></div> <div> Back to <A HREF="id16.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Past Issues"><U>Past Issues</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Community Links"><U>Community Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="AskEssex Shop"><U>AskEssex Shop</U></A>  </div> <div> <IMG SRC="05058050.gif" border=0 width="600" height="5" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <I><B>I'm In Love With a Straight Boy/Girl!</b></I></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="702" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 177 WIDTH="339"><div> <A HREF="http://www.cdnow.com/pagename=/RP/MOVIES/mv_item.html/itemid=1394361/from=sr-8146517-1" target="_blank" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.cdnow.com/pagename=/RP/MOVIES"><U><IMG SRC="0b47caa0.gif" border=0 width="124" height="170" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="177" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <A HREF="http://www.cdnow.com/pagename=/RP/MOVIES/mv_item.html/itemid=1329305/from=sr-8146517-1" target="_blank" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.cdnow.com/pagename=/RP/MOVIES"><U><IMG SRC="0b57caa0.gif" border=0 width="124" height="170" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 469 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I'm a 14 year old bisexual girl. I've met my true love. I love her so much, but she seems to not feel the same way. I told her how I feel about her and she told me she was bi also. But now, she won't talk to me about it. I love her so much I could kill myself because she doesn't feel the same. Before I told her how I felt, she used to be nice to me, we used to play around, and she used to lead me on. Now, she won't even talk to me about it. She keeps telling me she loves me, but in a best friend way. But why would she give me lap dances and kiss me on the nose before I told her how I felt? I thought she felt the same way at first, and that's why I told her. But now I'm left with thoughts, and I don't know what to do. </div> <bR> <div> -- Help Me</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="469" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Help Me,</div> <bR> <div> First and foremost, if you feel like hurting yourself because this girl does not share your feelings, please talk to your parents, a counselor, or someone you trust. Your life is a very precious thing, surely not to be ended because of this. </div> <bR> <div> That said, I remember very clearly what it was like to be 14 and to have outrageously intense feelings that were overwhelming and all-consuming. To not have these feelings reciprocated is also very difficult to handle, especially if you feel that your friend encouraged these feelings to develop by "playing" with you in a suggestive way.<FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#990000" FACE="Times New Roman" > </FONT></div> <bR> <div> Try to remember, though, that she is also your age and probably very confused and scared by these feelings. You can't make her feel the same way, but you can try your best to maintain and improve your friendship. Also consider joining a group for bisexual youth. If you email AskEssex your city & state, I can help you find local resources. Good luck & stay strong! Things will get better.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 278 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I recently started working at a grocery store in the city I moved to, and met one of my co-workers. I instantly fell for him. I started having parties at my house so I could talk to him outside of the work place. One of my other co-workers told me I should talk to him, and it turns out he likes me. But, I am unsure of how to turn our relationship from friends to lovers without scaring him. I am a very open gay man, and I really like this guy, but I don't want to move too fast or too slow for him. Help me please.</div> <bR> <div> -- Confused in Kzoo</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="278" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Confused in Kzoo,</div> <bR> <div> Knowing that this "straight" guy likes you is very encouraging. However, it is always hard to be "the first." I'm sure you want to be sensitive to his inexperience, but you can't understand what he's feeling or determine a comfortable pace at which to proceed without talking to him about it. Communicate! Tell him how you are feeling and ask him what he wants and how he wants it. You have to be a bit aggressive in your questioning to ensure that you're not too aggressive in your pursuit! Happy hunting.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFFFF HEIGHT= 278 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I'm a homosexual man being led on by my heterosexual best friend. We've been friends for 3 years, but in the past 4 months, we've gotten really close. Lately, he's been joking around about me performing oral sex on him. I've had straight friends before who have experimented with me in that way, but this guy is different. I consider him a really good friend, so I don't want to lose him over a blow job. But if he and I can stay friends while I "do him" periodically, that would be great! How do you figure what this guy is doing?</div> <bR> <div> -- R</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="278" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear R,</div> <bR> <div> It is often easiest to disclose sexual interest in someone by joking about it. Your friend's "jokes" are coarsely disguised efforts to let you know that he is interested in experimentation. However, as it is too easy to lose a friend over a blow job, it is your task to find out where he's coming from. And you can only do that by communicating with him. You shouldn't feel him up without first feeling him out. So, ask him all-jokes-aside, what he wants! And if it makes it easier, have him check out this site!</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="339"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="339" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="16" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="339" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>