Gay - Straight Relations

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script type="text/javascript" src="http://hb.lycos.com/hb.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://ratings.lycos.com/ratings/lycosRating.js.php"></script> <script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[//><!]]></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-start.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-middle.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-end.js"></script> <noscript> <img src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/img/common/ot_noscript.gif?rand=300332" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <iframe frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" width="728" height="90" src="http://ad.yieldmanager.com/st?ad_type=iframe&ad_size=728x90&section=209094"></iframe>  </noscript> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=188 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <IMG SRC="0468cab0.gif" border=0 width="140" height="171" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <A HREF="id14.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gay Youth: Expressing a Gay Identity "><U><B>Gay Youth: Expressing a Gay Identity</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id12.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="She/He is Bisexual! What to do?"><U><B>She/He is Bisexual! What To Do?</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Im In Love With a Straight Boy/Girl!"><U><B>I'm in Love With a Straight Boy/Girl</b></U></A></div> <div> Gay - Straight Relations</div> <div> <A HREF="id6.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Young Love First Love"><U><B>Young Love - First Love</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id13.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Affairs of the Heart and Body When Thin"><U><B>Affairs of the Heart & Body</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Should I Stay or Should I Go?"><U><B>Should I Stay or Should I Go?</b></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Im In Love With My Friend! What Should "><U><B>I'm In Love With My Friend!  What Should I Do?</b></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="0451a1a3.gif"> <bR> <bR> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#990000" FACE="Times New Roman" ><I><B>AskEssex </b></I></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFCC99" FACE="Arial" >     </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CCCC66" FACE="Arial" >| </FONT>  <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="AskEssex "><U><B>Home</b></U></A></div> <div> Back to <A HREF="id16.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Past Issues"><U>Past Issues</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Community Links"><U>Community Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="AskEssex Shop"><U>AskEssex Shop</U></A>  </div> <div> <IMG SRC="05058050.gif" border=0 width="600" height="5" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <I><B>Gay - Straight Relations</b></I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="702" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 367 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I am a 24 year old female who has fallen in love with a gay man. We have always flirted and there hasn't been a problem until recently. A bunch of us went dancing and he came up to me and gave me the most passionate kiss I have gotten in a long time. Things then progressed. Further, he brought me a dozen beautiful and very expensive roses. That's when it happened. That's when I fell. I am working on rectifying this error without ever letting him know how I feel. He's a very close friend and I love him dearly, but now, every time I see him I want to rush in the opposite direction. Our relationship has been downplayed to hour long calls at work and dinner sometimes. I don't want to lose him, but it seems that I am. Please help me find a solution.</div> <bR> <div> -- Falling in Disaster</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="367" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Falling in Disaster,</div> <bR> <div> It sounds like the best thing to do would be to sit down and talk to your friend. You and he were bold enough to make out on the dance floor. So now, be bold enough to tell him how you feel. If nothing more, he should know that that kind of behavior can be hurtful in that it has facilitated these intense feelings on your part that have gone unreciprocated. The only way for your friendship to grow is for you to open the lines of communication. And don't see yourself as falling in disaster. Simply consider it a learning experience. The moral ... don't mess around with gay men if you are prone to emotional attachment.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 257 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I'm 17 and have a crush on my close friend Adrian. He knows I have a crush on him, but is afraid to show his feelings because of his friends. But when he's not around his friends or family, he wants me to be his world. I've liked him so long that I listen to everything he says and he has total control over my heart. What should I do?</div> <bR> <div> -- Please Help</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="257" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Please Help,</div> <bR> <div> Adrian is clearly not ready to come out. He is having his cake and eating it too! Furthermore, he is putting you in a very unfair position. You should not be relegated to the position of a dirty little secret. So my advice is simple. You should move on and leave him alone. If he is ever ready to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, maybe you can get together then. But remember ... you are in control of your own heart, not him. Take control, pull yourself together, and find someone who will love you even when their friends are around.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 346 WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04d2b2a0.gif" border=0 width="43" height="42" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear Essex,</div> <bR> <div> I'm confused. I'm male and the problem is that I'm more attracted to men than I am to women. I want to change this because I don't like it and I think it's wrong. I want to start feeling moved when I look at a woman's body. I want to be normal. Can you help me do that, and can you tell me why I am the way I am?</div> <bR> <div> -- KIKI</div> <bR> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="346" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><div> <IMG SRC="04e29260.gif" border=0 width="41" height="38" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Dear KIKI,</div> <bR> <div> The concept of being "normal" is difficult to traverse. For example, if you grew up as a black person in a white community, would you be abnormal? If you were the only Jewish kid at a Christian college, would you be abnormal? No. You would simply be different. It is often uncomfortable and difficult to not be a part of the majority. However, difference is what makes this such an interesting world. I can't tell you how to change your sexuality. And I can't tell you what will make women arousing to you. My advice is to learn to love all aspects of yourself. Your sexuality is a small part of what makes you who you are. If you really feel terrible about being gay, I recommend talking to a mental health professional. Talking through your feelings is an important tool toward self-discovery and self-acceptance.</div> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="339"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="19" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="339" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="14"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="19" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="14" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="339"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="19" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="339" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>